Divine Basics of Holy Matrimony!
What is the perfect plan of God for biblical matrimony?many people desire long term good relationship in the matrimony.only Biblical basis provides the true meaning and source of true happiness for a committed relationship in the marriages.Today marriages are broken due to the reason Christ is not centred and Bible orientation is not focused as the basis for a good relationship in the matrimony. Yes everyone seeks for a good relationship in Christ. Only the Word of God provides a blessing not only for relationship but for fellowship of “The Royal family of God”. The word of God is the place where we can learn about God’s Word!
Marriage is a Divine institution and has divine blueprint for mankind.It is not a carnal institution.if carnal plans are entertained the true purpose of marriage is broken and satan is at very point to bring the carnal issues in the Divine institution.Satan in order to break the Divine institution of marriage is always trying to highlight the very carnal concerns in the mankind.A wo/man have their own checklist for their future mates like someone who” Makes me laugh”,” Makes me feel good”,” Physically active”,"Bold and Courageous”. Exactly all these words are nothing but this are the mere human ideals and emotions .In other word they are “Carnal passions.However this may be required in a relationship but This words are not basic foundations for a strong relationship for the Christian family.
“It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone,but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God’”(Matt 4:4).
“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are,so that no one may boast before him.It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.31Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”(I Cor 1:26-31).
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together”(Rom 8:1-17)..
Do Not Love the World
“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.For everything in the world–the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does–comes not from the Father but from the world.The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever”(I John 2:15-17).
The strong foundation (Divine Basics for Dream Wedding) for the Christian family comes from the source of Mutual relationship based on collective study of the word of God, Collective prayers, collective mutual trust and very strongly on the Christian Integrity and committment.
Families that doesn’t have Christ as the centre in every aspect of their life is not a happy family. A family or a relationship that is not based on the spiritual aspects has no value in the sight of God. The entire carnal check list we produce is not at all a base. We are the children of God and family of God. A strong relationship comes only by the more love we have for God!
Because the God’s word says:
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said to him,” You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind”. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it:’ You shall love your neighbor as yourself’. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”(Matt 22:36-40).
So by above verses it is clear that a strong Christian life and the source of a strong Christian family is based on loving God at first and later is to love others. This is the basis for a strong Christian life and relationships. If a wo/man puts I would like to have a girl or boy who loves God more than me is the correct way of expressing a strong relationship. Because one who loves God definitely loves other because that is the second step immediately followed by loving God at first. The wo/man who loves God at first would definitely love others especially the one whom is getting married!
The one who loves god always loves others!
PRINCIPLE: You cannot truly love a wo/man. If you are not a true lover of God.
Carnal passions are not the basis for strong relationships for the children of God. Further I wish the following excerpts will be an added encouragement for the better understanding of a relationship or marriage.
UNITY IN GOD!
In God’s intent the relationship of husband and wife is to be completed in their oneness with God. The relationship between Adam and Eve began to deteriorate when they chose alienation from God. Perhaps their creation of clothing was the intuitive response and first evidence of this interdependence of the two relationships, horizontal between husband and wife and vertical between each and his Lord. Oneness in Christ gives depth and staying power to the human relationships.
Thus, in God’s marvelous design for marriage the Unity/Oneness in God reinforce one another in a glorious spiral upward toward the fulfillment of God’s purpose in Marriage.
Since God planned marriage to be so good, it is no wonder that he should, in love for his people, create safeguards to keep it good. These are necessary because there are many enemies of God’s plan, many ways of abusing human sexuality that subvert and destroy the purposes he had in mind. In fact, anything that would detract from the oneness of the two God puts together, anything that would eliminate procreation, or anything that would distort the reflection in human marriage of God’s own nature is the enemy of God and Man.
ONENESS IN HEART AND MIND
The first positive element in oneness is not physical union (which we have come to glorify as “sex’), but the completing of another in a love relationship that embraces all of life.
Even the oneness of Bodies cannot be fulfilling in its most satisfying potential unless there is oneness to some degree in spirit as well, because sex is at root a psychological phenomenon. Heart unity provides the basis for releasing the ultimate in physical ecstasy, but it goes far beyond the momentary physical thrill to a total-life mutual satisfaction and fulfillment.
The Biblical standard for oneness and wholeness is love, which includes sharing of interests, activities, purposes, and goals. Of course, partners may have interests and activities independent of one another, but their oneness of purpose and loving identity calls for open verbal sharing of all aspects of life. Communication is the channel of Unity. Without it, true oneness will prove illusive. (Here I want to add my personal thought that the communication here means that the Biblical pattern of communication is the important aspect of our lives).
But oneness is more than self-giving love and open communication, which can and often should characterize other human relations. These alone will not hold a marriage together for long. The romantic euphoria of the newlywed may soon be dissipated under the impact of the harsh realities of life in which two independent beings are shut up to one another, especially when the desires of one begin to impinge on the desires or rights of the other. Communication can be a weapon to destroy unity as well as a channel in which loving unity may flow. What is the essential ingredient, then, if it is not love?
The key to a successful marriage and the cement that holds two people together for a lifetime is commitment, an exclusive contract relationship that is not negotiable. This is the only basis for true oneness in marriage. Without this commitment to fidelity and loyalty, any relationship, no matter how loving at the outset, is too fragile to survive.Furthermore, without this commitment, there is a tentativeness that undermines the relationship and belies the profession of love. One who experienced this uncommitted relationship testifies:
You can’t say someone,” I love you. Let’s live together to see what happens.” On those terms, either of you can split at a moment’s notice. As a result you never really can be yourself or feel free to disagree without fear of losing the other person. You can never have the liberty to share your deepest feelings. You have to hold back. The relationships doesn’t get a chance to grow because it is based on a conditional acceptance which is the cover for the self-gratification of two people indulging themselves in what they politely term a meaningful relationship. Real commitment, on the other hand, says,”Iam willing to spend my life with you to see you grow.”…..others say,” For as long as we both shall love…..” Love may have some cold spots, and it alone will never be enough to hold two people together. It’s commitment that carries them over difficult times. Commitment is what God intended between a man and woman. That is why he set up marriage-to express a lifelong commitment.
Marriage is a sign and demonstration of God’s character as the great covenant maker and covenant keeper. In a covenant, the crucial elements are fidelity and integrity, not emotion (Here I want to say my personal opinion that carnal emotions have no way the strong possibilities of an effective Christian marriage.’ Someone who can make me laugh’ is a carnal passion and not a basis for a strong relationship in Christian marriage).In marriage, it is not romantic feelings nor compatibility nor sexual adjustment that makes success possible, but the fidelity of one’s covenant vow. Covenant is the crucial centre of life.
Commitment, then, is the surest evidence of true marriage-eligible love, and love, in turn, is the greatest reinforce of commitment. But oneness of spirit is not the only element of biblical unity in marriage.
ONENESS IN BODY
When God created Eve and brought her to Adam, the word was clear: The two shall be one flesh. This is one of the great,joyful,uninhibited themes of the song of songs Further more, scripture in each era teaches directly that this is the good will of God(Exo 21:10;Prov 5:15-19;I Cor 7:3-5; Heb 13:4).
“Drink water from your own cistern,running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone,never to be shared with strangers.
May your fountain be blessed,and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always,may you ever be captivated by her love”(Prov 5:15-19)..
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self–control.”(I Cor 7:3-5).
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”(Heb 13:4).
Physical union takes to its most intimate and ecstatic conclusion the oneness of heart, and reinforces it as well. In fact, each unity is essential to the fullness of the other. Just as two people committed to one another in marriage vows of love are not one untill the physical union is consummated, so two who unite physically without the marriage commitment, or in the bonds of marriage but without the love, are still incomplete. Thus in the God’s marvelous design for marriage the three unities
1) UNITY/ONENESS IN GOD
2) UNITY/ONENESS IN HEART AND MIND
3) UNITY/ONENESS IN BODY
Reinforce one another in a glorious spiral upward toward the fulfillment of God’s purpose in marriage.
Also please read (Psalm 128;Prov 31:10-31).
“Blessed are all who fear the LORD,who walk in his ways.
You will eat the fruit of your labor;blessings and prosperity will be yours.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.
Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.
May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life;may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,and may you live to see your children's children.Peace be upon Israel”(Psalm 128).
“A wife of noble character who can find?She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,and let her works bring her praise at the city gate”(Prov 31:10-31).
Bibliography: Biblical Ethics by Robertson Mc Quilkin; pg 190-192;Bible verses Kjv.